dun know
i was thinking abt wat i wrote in the previous post when i was in dota till nw. dun knw wat did i wrote was....bad??affecting her?? or wat..i really dun know. also i dun know whther this time to blog tt thing was a good timing. haiz.i was jus trying to get back to normal liao but i did this stupid thing. i am being hit back down to the ground again. some more its by myself and no one...i suddenly jus dun know wat to do liao. i am down nw sia. its like going back to the few down-est days i were in for the weekend. haiz...
i think i am really in a mess nw.
how how??when i was trying to stand up i fell again...
sad...
confused...
Wednesday, May 31, 2006
12:18 AM
Its Another Day in Life
i guess i said it in here ba..
this i dun know i should really say anot de lor... cos i scared this might end up in another disappointment for me:( for the past few days i've been thinking abt this. this seems to be bothering me. i really dun know should i say anot. haiz.
ok ba think i say also nt going b a complete one.so dun hiam or wat...at least u get some idea from wat i am thinking ba.
for the past few days since wat i had been told, i had been so down. when i tired to picked myself up by talking positive, but i jus cant stop thinking. its something to do with the "so close" blog i blogged. i really dun know if i can really be like last time or wat.this i didnt wan to say it out de but its been bothering me for sometime le. haiz.
still gt. think this is the overall thing ba. its abt whether i can get back to the normal me i used to be b4 she said those dmging words. normal as in the normal days when we were like...cont or not to cont...
mos prb, i had actually decided in me liao...
haiz dun know how to write liao cos head still in a mess...
haiz
but i am back to haf my normal self liao la...dun worry abt me and be happy=D
Tuesday, May 30, 2006
9:37 PM
Its Another Day in Life
days
its been a few days since those words were said. nw i also dun know wats wrong with my heart and mind. thou it seems over and fine liao but in me i still feel funny. maybe its the "scar" tt is still there. i didnt really wan to think much abt it but i cant help myself from thinking abt wats going to happen or the past and even the words. on those few days, its hard. i didnt really get good slp and i was no in any mood. think till yesterday nite i was having my 1st smile after those unhapy things. as for today, i haven smile much yet. dun know y also. think i am still affected alittle by the thing ba.
today was quite a bz and relax day for me which was also one uncomfortable day??dun know leh... or is it i was too tired.went to sch.met her but she didnt go sch cos not feeling well. then wen walk sch with peifen.. was alittle quiet cos dun know wat to chat abt. walking to sch without needing me to hold laptop... it feels alittle funny. cos its like part of my routine le?? in sch was too cold for me. cold and i was like shivering for the whole day... then was also like bored in sch. no one came to chat with me. lonely.... wanted to speak to lena but didnt today..i was like nt in the mood ba...
then wen to the breifing 4 wss..was a borin one.didnt c any gal. then came home and slp.but i still like slp not enough...i like piggy sia.but cant blame me leh.i really dun have good slp for the pass few days leh.. think i am nt having any good slp till i completely cleared all my tots ba.
for the past 2 days, i was thinking abt how.and how.and how. i didnt really know wat will happen in the future. was thinking abt some tots tt i dun feel like putting in here...if wan to know ask me lor... maybe i will say...but its maybe nia..
i am trying to pick myself up again...
then hor sat sima de chalet thing i also jialat liao la...still considering going anot... nw i think depends on her liao lor. if she going then i go ba...
i gt too many prob liao la....haiz
7:49 PM
Its Another Day in Life
back to sch with a....er
its monday...3 days since tt thing happened. till nw actually i am still somehow affected by it but nt as much. yesterday i manage to find my confidence and courage back to chatting with her. i was staring at my com then. wondering should i chat with her anot for like an hr to 2 hr or so. in my heart then i really wanted to chat with her but hor, i dun knw how to start chatting with her. as wat i think i had said in previous post is tt, when i needed her the most she hurtz me.... this hurt was so bad lor. but the only think tt can heal me is........ then near 11pm then i also dun know y i manage to find the confidence back. think cos i read her blog tts y and also thru somethinking ba. thou my confidence are all nt back yet but i still can manage for the time being ba. i did shed alittle tears when i was chatting with her again. but was jus alittle de.
then today we met up and went to sch together. then kenny was also the same as me. think he was affected more ba. he seems very depress. actually i was also jus tt i didnt really show. all was hidden up.
then i came to sch alot ppl was asking am i alrite anot. other than this, some even asked who the gal. i didnt wan to say. cos i dun wan others to say abt her. i still luv her, i wanted to protect her from all the comments others will say... but i guess some will know wats going on la. then gt one...the comment i us cant take it. i took another hit from the words tt person said. those words kind of like hit me to my bottom down again. i was really affected by those words sia but i didnt wan to make a fuss abt so i jus replied with thx. i already knew tt. haiz. y tt person is always the one tt will makes me so down. others are concerned abt me i think. at least they know how to watch out for their hurtful comments. i am already so down le, if wan to show concern at least watch out for the comments made la. if nt jus keep quiet.
then todays de work for presentation hor also almost killed me. but heng its work. i can jus take it as i no mood to do but it still affect me some how la. but i still can.
then after sch knew tt she going to causeway point..wanted to follow but found out the bf is joining them after his ut so i decided to go home lor. was abt to go home alone but heng saw my friend on the way to station so wen back with him. oh also la i nv 4get fredy and tobias walk to station with me la. we joked while we walk la. saw tobi de er...hahhaa a gal la...hehe he was so paiseh trying to avoid he...haiz. dun know y he like tt. i was to c my gal but mei you ji hui but he gt the chance to c someone he dun wan c. haha
i am still thinking but actually i already know part of wat i am gonna do after tt thing le. i've kind of like decided... but i really need time to 4get this inorder to cont?? or should i jus cont and 4get in the process??
Monday, May 29, 2006
6:19 PM
Its Another Day in Life
going slp soon..
think i going to slp soon le... i having slight headach liao...been thinking alot?? dun know also.. i dun know how to make the 1st step.. i am jus like one crippled trying to stand up again to walk. tml sch i dun know how sia. should i meet her again to go sch and act as if nothing had happen or wat... i know i cant hide or run away from this. someday i need to speak to her again de. i jus need to find back the old self of mine. i am really lacking of something nw tt something which i really do nt know wat it is. how?how?? haiz...
actually nw i am trying to figure out wat she is thinking..but i wont know it anyway...
hopefully my tml will be a better day ba...
broken hearted going to slp liao le....
smiles hor....i still miss u...
Sunday, May 28, 2006
9:52 PM
Its Another Day in Life
thx annonymous
dun know who this annonymous person is but wat this person tagged helps me alittle i guess...but i really need to think and need time to also. i am much more stable nw. she still hating herself for causing me to b in this state??dun know cos nv talk to her for like 48hrs le...i dun know wats on her mind nw and i also nt sure wats on my mind also. i need to clear up my mind b4 trying to talk to her again...maybe tml i will find someone who may understand me and seek for advice ba..
tears for nw had stop dropping le thou there is a feeling tt i might again but i will try to control it..
it still hurtz in me but i am trying nt to show the pain to anyone...
if u r reading this, i hope u will be feeling happy le cos i am trying to pick myself up again... smiles wor...dun wan u to have sad face in sch. i need time to handle all this things... hopefully this wont affect much of my next few days ba.
jus a broken heart which is bleeding....with no tears dropping down from my eyes...
8:45 PM
Its Another Day in Life
i am thinking about it
i am thinking nw... can i really let this go?? i really dun know... its like my head say i need to let go but my heart doesnt...they jus oppos. i can let go of almost eveything but this i really dun know...
she said not beyond friend.... this line is like head shot to me... i really dun know...i am in a confuse state... i know if i cont like this in the end i will still end up with nothing and hurtz is all i will be getting.
i had stopped crying le. hopefully....
i am trying to pick myself up again...its so difficult. and i gt too many things hidden up in me which i do nt know who and how to say...
i think i need advice soon...from someone tt can really understand me... but i guess theres only a few...
i am very uncomfortable nw thou i am nt crying anymore for nw....
7:19 PM
Its Another Day in Life
not as jialat?? or worst to come??
i dun know liao... my tears had stop dropping for a few hrs le..dun know y.. or the worst is yet to come..guess this is jus only for a while nia cos i am nt thinking much abt it for tt period of time nw. i am trying to stable myself down and think wat to do next. perhaps i really need some advice from someone soon. my heart is in a mess nw.really. till nw i haven tell anyone tt knows abt us anything yet.
i really dun know wat to do nw...
feel like crying...feeling like chatting....
i really dun know for nw.
i've blogging alot of wat i am feeling for the pass 40hrs le.... still theres somethings tt i didnt wan to blog in here.its hidden all in me 4 nw.
i am really lost.really in pain...i am like suffering in silence..
no one really understand my tots nw.maybe she knows?? i really dun know and i dun wan to guess anything.
trying not to shed tears for the time being. feeling difficult to breathe ez in this situation.
hopefully something nice happen tml...
6:30 PM
Its Another Day in Life
staring blank
i've been staring into the com for quite sometime liao..dun know wat to do and here i am bloggin again.saw those tags read them. its nt tt i dun wan to face the fact. its tt its hard to accept those fact. its like a blow to me. i am really down. i've nv been this down b4. not even in the previous relations tt i had. this is so hard. i know tt shutting out from the world isnt a good idea but i really need to be alone and think for a while. i really have no choice liao...
normally she's the one tt cheer me up but nw,shes the one tt hurtz me and i cant be possibly finding her back to cheer or an wei wo...
my head is in a mess nw...
i really dun feel like thinking abt this. but if i dun think, this isnt gonna be solved. sad~
tears are beginning to drop again. i tired nt to cry liao but it jus wont help... hopefully i can find something to keep myself bz and nt think abt it.
- world skill isnt gonna help me in anyway
- sch work also not really
- soccer?? dun really have soccer in RP and normally i am the organiser!!!
- games??no mood to play
haiz...
i am thinking again...
it really hurtz very bad... nv felt this b4
3:37 PM
Its Another Day in Life
i really dun know
i really dun know how... i think abt it 4 quite sometime b4 i wanted to blog in here abt this...
wat i thought is tt when someone really say goodbye she or he shouldnt be feeling bad or sad abt it.but i really dun know.
i've been shedding tears for quite sometime liao. dun know is it worth shedding those tears anot. to me i find it worth. but ppl will tell me its nt worth. i really dun understand. i shed tears for the one i luv if tt a wrong doing?? i am really nt feeling very good. really bad in me. terrible...
i think i am gonna shut myself from the outside world soon?? i really dun know.
non stop de listening,thinking and images came along....
shedding..........
2:22 PM
Its Another Day in Life
feel like....
i dun know wats going on in my head rite nw...haven clear up my head yet..feel like crying again...but dun know haiz. i'm listening to songs rite nw and scanning thru bai du de web. reading thru some sad comment writen by others...those words written is almost describing wat i am feeling rite nw.
i really dun know y.
her images are floating in my head rite nw.
i really dun know wat to do. especially when nw i gt nothing to help me 4get wat happen.
i dun know should i cry or wat...
i am in pain nw, and the pain doesnt show on my face. its all hidden up in me. i am feeling terrible nw...
1:37 PM
Its Another Day in Life
blank...
i am feeling so blank nw... nt really shedding tears liao for since i woke up?? at least for nw ba..dun know y also.perhapes my tears from my eyes are all used up??but tears sheds from my hearts are nv gonna be dried up. being blank nw dun know is it a good sign or wat. i really cant think nw. this blow is too much for me to take.i really dun know. haiz..the more i write nw i can feel tt my tears are actually not dried up. i really can feel the watery feeling in my eyes nw.
this is the worst feeling of my life nw.
when i needed her she is one tt hurt me. so i really dun know who to look for to comfort me. i've been listening to songs since i woke up. all are sad songs.when can i listen to some happy song. think i can anytime but do i have the mood to listen to the happy songs??
my tears are flowing out again........
11:53 AM
Its Another Day in Life
b4 i slp
i am about to slp liao.. lookin at her blog again...thinking and thinking..listening to songs feeling so sad and down..tears trying to flow out but seems difficult... my eyes are so dry nw. did i finshing up all my tears?? i really dun know.. i am nt the same Ben/Benjamin/Alonso/ Ben Jia Min...liao... i am nt my self anymore...the only thing i know is cry nw. but i dun know by crying will it help anot.. i find myself living in a aimless world. they ask me to cheerup but i really dun know how to. i cant cheerup anymore. somemore songs i love to listen to are all sad songs now. tears dripping down are all auto liao. i jus cant control them. the only thing i can do is wipe them when i need to. jus like nw. i try nt to think abt the time but i really cant.sometime i feel tt i need to cry out loud in order to 4get all..but its all in me..its pain.
tears again and again and again
12:30 AM
Its Another Day in Life
again
i jus cant control myself/ i am blogging everynw and den.. hopping she is reading.
jus saw her blog and pics in my blog. trying so hard to 4get bt i jus cant. saw the heart she made and nw still hanging onto my bag. i really dun know wat to do with all those things. the pics i try to delete but friendster didnt "allow" me to do so. the pics still remains there. the moment i c her face in the pic, tears jus flows onto my cheeks. even if the dota guys are asking me play but i jus dun have the dota mood to play. maybe if theres soccer, it might help but dun think theres anysoccer soon. as i am always the organiser.
tears.....
Saturday, May 27, 2006
10:34 PM
Its Another Day in Life
seems ok on the outside but i'm not ok inside
its been like 24hr+ since she told me those lines. saw/read her blog for a few time...knowin she cried,my heart seems so weird...like xin tong. dun know y also.i know i had fell deep and will b even deeper if she didnt tell me. actually thinking back today when i was out jus nw, i realise tt all the pass few days b4 yesterday she was like telling me something but seems like nothing to me about the lines she told me..i didnt realise then?? or i was thinking too much... reading her blog i also went into the tears again. nw i can feel my eyes are hot and tears are coming out again. when will i stop crying???
i asked my friend about my eyes is it red but it was nt...but...its swollen slightly le.i really cant control myself nw..
everynw and den ppl ask me wat happen i dun know wat to tell them. i didnt wan them to know. they showed their concern but i guess they knw something. i cried while chatting with them. today i dun know how many time i cried liao..dun even say tt..yesterday nite when all are slping my tears continue to flow. but i didnt soak my pillow yet. haiz...my hearts are in a mess nw.
when i was out i keep looking at my hp wishing she will sms me asking me how i was..but i can jus only dream of tt. going out was supposed to be a happy one.but i didnt enjoy it. all the while i was outside i was still thinking wat happen. did tell my friend breifly wat was going on in my head but i jus cant say the details out. i am i afraid to face the fact nw it was over.
crying seems like nothing to me nw le. i nw considering monday should i go sch anot... till nw no one knows wat is exactly going on except for me and her i think. all think it was jus normal family matters. but it arent.
while i was walking home jus nw from station. i was wishing tt this was jus a big joke tt was played on me and i can continue like normal the day after. but i jus cant take it. its like a feel thousand sword and arrows piercing thru my heart. i am trying to console myself as no one can actually console me rite nw. no one.. i am all alone nw.crying non stop and its so painful physically and mentally.
read her tag..i didnt know wat to write also. should i thx her for helping me early or should i jus take it as rubbish she is telling me. i jus feel like crying nw again. think i am very unstable for the next few days liao. or even weeks. i think i will be avoiding alot ppl liao. sad.
this whole situation reminds me of my sec sch time... the 2nd relationship i had. it took me quite sometime to accept the fact.
tears again
can all this be jus a big joke......(dun think so it will be a joke)
:'(
9:49 PM
Its Another Day in Life
scanning thru...2nd one in the 2nd day
scaning thru my folders tts full of pics...then saw pics tt we took together.thou its not alot but really bring back some memories. then my tears drop again. jus cant control it. whenever my tears drop, i fear my family members will know.. scared they ask this ask tat... dun know how to ans them. haiz
then i going out soon le... to town area ba.jus wan to go out walk walk and dun wan stay at home staring at the com looking and thinking...making me siao and crying. hopefully this trip out i wont drop tears ba...haiz
as for nw i think my tears is going to drop non stop le..wonder monday how liao...considering wan go sch anot
alot of tears :'(
12:51 PM
Its Another Day in Life
trying
i dun know y.nw i am trying to hold back my tears. trying not to let it drop. but i still cant help it but to cry sometime.especially when i am listening to music and more especially songs sent by her...
nw i find tt my world is falling apart.cant support it anymore.
tears
12:09 PM
Its Another Day in Life
new day same feeling
27th may... it arent over...thought jus by slping i can be better but it doesnt. my slp werent that good either.till nw tears continue to drop but not as much. it still hurtz. i really dun know wat to do nw. i feel like lookin for someone to chat to but it seems like no on i trust is online. haiz. life seems so blank for me rite nw. the state i am in i dun wan anyone to c or know,inculding my family members..haiz
tears
10:23 AM
Its Another Day in Life
6th
i dun know y i continue to blog here..its the 6th of the day since she told me those words...it really break my heart when i read those..nw she's off line le(in msn)..i think i really need to find some one to chat to..feel like sms-ing lena but scared to trouble her...as i blogged i realise tt this blog was designed by her
Friday, May 26, 2006
10:37 PM
Its Another Day in Life
5th one
the moment i close my eyes, tears starts to drop..images of us being together came...i dun know wats going on in me...i jus cant control my tears. i had a long time nv cry liao..think the last time i cried was when i was injured badly...but it was a short while nia..nw the tears continues to drop and i dun know when its going to stop:'(
10:28 PM
Its Another Day in Life
4th one in a day
wrote this for quite some time ago...wanted to give it to her as a happy one..but guess now its going be a waste soon....initially was a sad one..but i was trying my best to edit into on happy one de...but guess i dun need...:'(
9:50 PM
Its Another Day in Life
was thinking abt her....
i was thinking about her bday when i was on the train..thinking of wat to get for her and so on...but now i really dun know liao...completely lost
9:40 PM
Its Another Day in Life
bad..................................................................................................
may 26th 2006 ....been a really bad day...in sch, com hang 5 time and restarted alot of time. dun even say com hang liao..the sch work even worst...lost for the whole day..wanted to find some one to chat to also dun have..wan play game also cant play.
dun even say in sch...b4 sch already seems a bad day le... in train was already feeling uncomfortable le then no one cares..on the train i was like made of glass... then after sch was more sian...came home alone..no one pei wo. haiz.then came home thought everything was over but it was nt...mother came and complain the electricity bill was too high liao.tio nagged.then after that stil think nothing happen...
but hor............worst thing came to me...was kind of like rejected.feeling damn blank when i was told those thing. didnt cry the moment i read tt took abt 5 min after tt then my eyes felt hot and tears began dropping..even nw when i am typing i am dropping tears. dun know y i was told this. perhapes she doesnt wan to be living in a world of suffering liao...everyday gt to face 3 guys....sometime i know that this was coming but didnt really know hw to accept it..
nw in my head i am thinking hw am i going to move on from here.
also, i still remember the time which was like 5 months ago. about the same thing happen...but in the end it went back normal..but as for this. i guess its dificult as this time was quite a formal rejection...............................
moving on..
dun know wat to say liao....jus not in anymood to do anything...nw i am considering whther to go for sima de chalet liao....i need to chat with someone soon
:'(
9:15 PM
Its Another Day in Life
knew it was coming
i knew it was coming but i jus didnt know how to react to it.... saw her blog jus then sensing something bad was about to happen. but didnt expect it to be tt fast.dun know y also...haiz..jus dun know wat to do...all i know nw is tt i feel like crying.. i think my eyes are red nw. my mind is jus blank. feeling really down nw...wonder how nw and the secs and mins and hrs tt will be coming...
8:33 PM
Its Another Day in Life
so close
haha today hor the class again took damn long to end sia....same fac helen lim...did her evalution till marked her down till bad??lol hahah..this is not the main point of y i blogged today...
haha the main point is that,er....... she and me went out to eat then send her home.... er also not abt this...haha
ok la actually is abt so close.... 1st time actually i held her hand...er not actually really holding hands la..but is close to it. on the bus we played hand reaction thingy then i caught her hand.lol then held her hand for 1/2 the bus ride ba. then after tt and actually b4 taking the bus I really wanted to hold her hand but dun know y i didnt.
but anyway this is close...1st step??...lol
really close..................wonder if still gt chance to hold her hand again
Tuesday, May 23, 2006
9:07 PM
Its Another Day in Life
joga bonito!!!
haha yesterday went back RP 4 the joga bonito!! nice nice 3v3 game..but gt some bad moment la.haha scored a nice goal also.but also one deflected own goal leh..sad...then hor my leg was shaking while standing..dun know y..maybe too tired out ba... especially my rite leg cos fri nite played near rp de basketball court with owl and some rp ppl ba...lol cant tt nite i was like the star of the team.lol all waiting for me to come and play.lol aha but i wen late cos pei her.... kenny was also there pei-ing and played soccer...he jus nt scared leg injured. lol
then back to joga bonito... it was a fun one..should had called my outside friends to play also cos saw outsiders there playing also. haha than after all these soccer in sch we went to eat...wanted to ask her out to have lunch de but her bf was faster...lol
all these are the happening 4 the past 2 days ba.... for the past 2 days i dun know y having a bad feeling....seems like a distant is forming liao...dun know y i seemed to have this feeling leh..jialat.dun really wan to think abt it sometime.making me feeling heavy in the heart.then i hao xiang always made her pek cek or angry...bad bad me..haiz
Sunday, May 21, 2006
4:07 PM
Its Another Day in Life
more quiet lately
i think i am very quiet for the past 2 days ba...dun knw wat to talk abt... in class,with friends, and with her... tried to talk but all come out de all rubbish sia...
also lately heard somethings which i dun really wish to hear also...but i know sometime i gt to face it but these things can really spoilt my day and even the week ba.its floating in my mind.....sometime i jus wish all the things i heard can be wat i wan to hear but the fact is tt i jus cant get to hear them...the fact is there and ppl will only look at the fact and speak wats on their mind.so i jus cant blame them and bo bian for me...jus faced the things they say ba...
been listening to slow and down and happy songs....then yesterday i tried to wrong song.lol haha i dun sing but i write song!!! omg haha...but hor i find it damn difficult sia... cos sometime i do nt wan to continue to write as it seems like a bad as in sad song... but its still there.... i m trying to write it into one happy song tt can reflect my happy time with.....haha dun know when will it be completed.
lately dun know wats going on in my head.seems blank but i know its nt blank.
then today i sent her home. been a quiet trip ba. cos i was so quiet... again the feeling came...wanted to but nv... dun know y also think paiseh ba cos so many ppl on the train.damn felt alittle....dun know how to say also.haha.think need wait for another liao le...
wish all the positive thingy happen and negative one all nt here to disturb my days!!!
ok not to 4get to mention i stepped on the dog pee for the 2nd time in 2 days!!!lol
Tuesday, May 16, 2006
8:56 PM
Its Another Day in Life
out till late........
haha 1st time i out till so late.hehe 1.30 then reach home sia.lol heng my uncle nv come out of the room and nag me yet.lol haha
today de trip out still ok. jus tt alittle nt happy for a while but the rest went fine...from beach road to chinatown to orchard then to je de chervon... bowled there.hehe seems fun but.......
nothing much to say actually..
dun know y even when i out i like the heart nt there enjoying...
think maybe i am missing her ba.
then actually wanted to call her and chat de but nv...
y i always like tt de... always the last step nv do...
dun know y....
haiz....
Saturday, May 13, 2006
1:50 AM
Its Another Day in Life
thurs...wanted to but nv..
haha!!!thurs liao...today so suai in class kena filmed!!! this is the 1st out of 3 lor...still gt in preman class next thurs but hor in helen de class also going to be filmed!!! lol she going die liao la... think half class going to bu he zhou with her liao.hehe.bad sia.lol
then today hor wen to causeway point with her and peifen...cos hor peifen de xia huai diao with she walking 1/2 way to sch.lol haha then kelian bao bei need to be 1 leg without shoe.feel like bei her and walk to causeway point de. haha but hor nv leh.dun know y also. then reach there liao walk here and there finding shoes.lol then she walk damn fast sia...1 shoe less also can walk so fast.lol haha after getting shoes went pasta makan.hehe during then i was kind of being asked a very nan ans de Q .lol haha....shhhhhhh wont tell de unless......................................lol...shhhhhhhhhhhhh
after eating nothing do liao so went home lor.sent her home...dun know gt how long nv send her home liao.haha on the train back with her...actually gt the urged to kiss her de but dun know y again mei you do tat but i was quite near to her...almost!!! lol wasted this chance today.damn.but was quite ok for me today liao le... waiting for another chance??hahah=D we shall c.hehe
then tml dun know gt go sentosa anot leh... sian and also dun know to join soccer anot also...wan to play striker pos but scared pai seh.lol cos long time nv play field de soccer le scared cmi. hahaha
waiting for the chance of suprise kiss........................................hahah
Thursday, May 11, 2006
9:34 PM
Its Another Day in Life
good and bad??
haha wed again...back to world skill training wor..one tiring day over at the training. hehe today actually wanted to meet her go sch together de but haha dun wat time she meeting the rest.... wanted to ask yesterday but she fell aslp and then i fell aslp by the time she reply also.lol.but hor dun know is you yuan or wat...met her at JE with kenny....lol,then took the same train lor. then..................reach liao i wen my way after she meet hui min they all lor........
then training train till sweaty sia...lol in aircon room somemore. train till hand pain sia...then gt poked again in the finger..damn!!! pain nw.lol haha sch really spending alot $$ on us sia..over 180K spent liao wor..alot $$ sia... haha can donate to me alittle anot?? hehe. some more edmond say going to get us boots...omg..going spend $$ again..ahhah and the boots can bring home de.lol going to be ours!!!haha then after training wen to study with lyj, jon and sam..lol
then gt home ard 7+ but was online straight after reaching home.lol but then was mia from my com.wen to c my ah ma..gt 2 days nv c her le...hope shes feeling ok ba..she going for treatment tml again sia...haiz.y like tt sia.
then back at my com.chatted with her... chatted with her alittle of my xin li hua ba. seems like after the chat my whole self feels alittle relax???.dun knw leh..i only knw how to follow my feelings...hehe. sometime i feel alittle lost... but nw seems ok cos i know wat i wan...following my heart and cont with this nw til.........................dun wanna say..................................................
ok tts all for today. <3 U........
Wednesday, May 10, 2006
9:51 PM
Its Another Day in Life
losing the drive........
nothing much to say... jus tt i think i had jus lost the drive to move on....
its hard....... heart is likea heavy rock nw..........
Monday, May 08, 2006
8:01 PM
Its Another Day in Life
tired...
yoz wat a shiok day sia..haha. played soccer whole morning till ard 2pm. then wen makan. ate my fav raw fish.lol so tired sia nw... fauzi finally appeared. haha today kena busted again... they same thingy form the team they wan then kick us the noobs out... lol but in the end is the noobs that win them.hahaha today was quite fun but still lacking of alot ppl...think next week playing again ba. hopefully all will b there. so long nv play with old friends liao... haha today also made some friends thou till nw still dun know their names but jus know they almost every suday will play there de. think i am getting old or wat liao...my stamina dying liao!!! hahah need to train up again. also hor i still considering going for the sch trial anot leh... haha..so tired!!!nt jus the soccer tt tired me out lor cos i nv slp early also yesterday Nite... they force me play dota!!!lol cos i the only host then.lol
then hor did i mention i also into the NFS most wanted liao..hahaha i also gt quite a few new songs.hehe going crazy over games and songs?? haha not really...cos too bored liao la..mei you ren pei wor mei you ren entertain me.haha u know wat will happen when i am bored!!!haha...hu si luan xiang lor.hehe
ahaha ok la these few days i still ok i think...
she is pon-ing sch alot liao..howhow??? seeing her less??? ppl asking me to give up... howhow???alot of things running thru me...some affect me for a while but hor some really in my head for long....
jus like one phrase...dun wanna say goodbye when i jus let go....but another phrase also say....holding on is holding me back... dun know leh...
haha think follow my feelings still the best... as for nw my feelings is still there....
haha u better take care and be happy with ur life..hehe
Sunday, May 07, 2006
6:02 PM
Its Another Day in Life
back again...
yoz!!! i am back again...but hor its with the same down feelings ba.. haiz.dun know y i been ing this kind of feelings for a few days liao leh..how how?? jialat sia. sad sad. haiz bo bian..xin li yi shen think also cant help liao la. haiz..
she keep pon-ing sch sia and i dun knw how can i help her lor...sad sad..no mood to write leh.. so taken a few quotes from some where...below...
1) "The saddest love is to love someone, to know that they still want you, but the circumstances don't let you have them."
2)"It's like my mind knows what's right but my heart is being retarded and still cares."
3)"Because I never really had you at all, I didn't think it would hurt this much to lose you."
4)"Deep in my heart, I'm suffering, knowing that I've lost you. On the outside, I'm living, pretending that I've forgotten you."
5)"There is nothing sadder in this life than to watch someone you love walk away after they have left you. To watch the distance between your two bodies expand until there is nothing left but empty space... and silence."
6)"Never say goodbye when you still want to try. Never give up when you still feel you can take it.Never say you don't love a person when you can't let go."
point 6..............................................................................
dun know wat to say...
understand in the heart can liao..
Thursday, May 04, 2006
11:18 PM
Its Another Day in Life
dun know...
ok i am here dun know doing wat...bored??fan nao??confuse??moodless?? all dun know...dun know wat i am thinking nw.jus too luan in my head nw..thought had a nice long week end but i still .....dun know how to say..its jus nt rite.
but i dun know wats the nt rite thingy.
i am trying to play happy music to make myself happy nw... jus too blank for nw.
few quotes-->
1) "Love makes life so confusing, but without love would you really want to live?"
2) " i learnt how to love, but not how to stop loving."
3) "Love is a language spoken by everyone, but understood only by a heart."
4) "Never say goodbye when you still want to try. Never give up when you still feel you can take it.Never say you don't love a person when you can't let go."
.......theres a few or lots more...... next time then put ba
luan luan luan...
blankblankblank...
when my life is going to be beautiful????
Monday, May 01, 2006
11:11 PM
Its Another Day in Life